Seeing Ourselves Through the Eyes of a Child: Lessons in Self-Love and Growth

Imagine being told every day, in song and chants, that you are "the best girl in the world." Imagine being embraced in love so pure that no flaw, mistake, or imperfection could diminish your worth. For my five-year-old daughter Lilian, this is the reality she creates for our dog, Lana. And in her unwavering belief, there is a profound lesson for all of us about self-love and acceptance.

Lana is a 6-month-old puppy—full of energy, curiosity, and, admittedly, mischief. She chews on everything, her baby teeth leaving painful marks on anything (or anyone) in her path. She’s nipped my daughter on the face more than once, causing tears and cries of frustration. But five minutes later, without fail, Lilian is hugging Lana, singing her made-up songs, and reminding her: "You’re the best dog in the world!"

My daughter doesn’t overlook Lana’s flaws, but she doesn’t let them define her perception of her beloved dog. To her, Lana is perfect—not because she’s without fault, but because her love for Lana makes her so. This childlike perspective of pure, unconditional love is something many of us lose as we grow older. We become our harshest critics, magnifying our imperfections and attaching our self-worth to them. What if we could see ourselves through the same eyes my daughter uses to see Lana?

When was the last time you looked at yourself and thought, "I am the best version of me," despite knowing there are areas for growth? For most of us, self-love and self-acceptance feel conditional. We tell ourselves, “I’ll love myself when I…” lose weight, get that promotion, fix this habit, or achieve that goal. But this conditional love creates a never-ending cycle of self-criticism. We forget that we are worthy of love as we are, even while striving to grow.

Lilian's forgiveness of Lana—even after a painful bite—is a powerful reminder of how we can approach our own flaws and mistakes. She doesn’t hold a grudge or punish Lana; she simply loves her through it. Imagine offering yourself the same grace. Imagine saying, “I made a mistake, and that’s okay. I’m still worthy of love and care.”

Loving Ourselves While Embracing Growth

Self-love doesn’t mean ignoring our flaws or pretending we have no room for improvement. Lana is still learning how to behave, and my daughter is patient with her progress. In the same way, we can acknowledge our imperfections without letting them diminish our self-worth. Growth and self-love can coexist. In fact, they thrive together.

When you love yourself, you’re more likely to take care of yourself. You’re more likely to make choices that align with your values and goals because you believe you deserve to thrive. Self-love fuels the courage to face challenges, try new things, and take risks. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about believing you’re worthy, even in your imperfection.

What We Can Learn from a Child’s Love

Children have an incredible ability to see the good in the world and in people (and pets!) around them. They’re not jaded by the critical lenses adults often wear. When my daughter looks at Lana, she doesn’t see “Lana the biter” or “Lana the troublemaker.” She sees "the BEST dog in the world." And she’s right—because that’s the Lana she chooses to see.

We can choose to look at ourselves the same way. We can practice seeing “the best version” of ourselves, even as we acknowledge our imperfections. When we do, we open the door to a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves—one that balances self-acceptance with the desire to grow and improve.

A Practice in Self-Love

Here are a few ways you can start seeing yourself through a child’s eyes:

1. Affirm Your Worth: Write down three things you love about yourself every morning. They don’t have to be big—they just have to be true.

2. Forgive Quickly: When you make a mistake, treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that mistakes are part of being human.

3. Celebrate Your Progress: Instead of focusing on how far you still have to go, celebrate how far you’ve already come.

4. Embrace Joy: Take time to do things that make you happy, just because they make you happy. Self-love often grows in the little moments of joy we allow ourselves.

Final Thoughts

My daughter’s songs for Lana may seem like a simple, sweet habit, but they’re a profound expression of unconditional love and acceptance. If we could learn to sing those same songs to ourselves—to see ourselves as "the best" even in our imperfections—we might find it easier to embrace who we are while continuing to grow into who we want to be.

So, the next time you catch yourself being overly critical, think of Lilian and Lana. Take a deep breath, give yourself a mental hug, and say, "I’m the best girl in the world!"